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talking to people about my obsessions pretending im just a casual fan
Be happy with what I’m doing.
As corny as it sounds. All I want to be is happy.
I want to be happy with what I’m doing no matter what I’m doing.
This helps weed out what I hate doing: being unhappy.
So… yeah. People are gonna be rolling their eyes at me but who cares as long as I’m happy.
It’s my life. MINE.
And I’m going to live it.
So, you’ve taken the plunge. You’ve dropped out of school, sidestepped highschool, or decided it’s time for your textbooks to go. You’re a full-blown unschooler—and you’re bored. Perhaps you miss the mental stimulation of that one class you enjoyed last semester, or maybe you feel guilty because you don’t know what to do with your time.
Those new to unschooling can quickly fall into stagnation. Don’t let this be you! Here are five ways to stimulate your mind and imagination.
1) Obsess. Once you find something you enjoy, immerse yourself in it. Study every aspect of it. Embrace your phases. When I was six or seven, I had Chinese phase. I made a model of the Great Wall of China, learned about the Chinese zodiac, and set up an “exhibit” in my bedroom, which I made my mother film me explaining. Obsessions are catalysts to deeper understanding of the world as a whole.
2) Set open-ended goals. Instead of setting yourself goals like “finish my history textbook by May”, set goals that encourage exploration. Resolve to read a biography a month, or watch one Ted Talk a day, or watch a documentary every week.
3) Conquer a list. Interested in movie making? Make it a goal to watch all of Time’s best 100 films. Liberal arts? Read through a Great Books list.
4) Take an nontraditional class. Within a few miles of my house there are lessons on belly dancing, drawing, basket weaving, photography, rock climbing, and dozens of other non-academic classes. You won’t be graded, you can drop out of any class you don’t like, and the timing is much more flexible than in your typical high school.
And whatever you choose, remember—You’re not a conventional student—don’t compare yourself to one. You don’t have to work eight hours a day; you don’t have to write essays and constantly scribble equations. Trust yourself. You know when you’re learning. You don’t need numbers and letters to prove progress.
My stomach hurts because I want this so badly.
If you took a group of babies and said to their parents, “Today I’m going to teach them to walk,” their parents would think you were a crazy person and take their children away. If you took a group of toddlers and said to their parents, “Today I’m going to teach them to use the potty,” their parents would think you were a crazy person and take their children away. But if you take a group of 9 year olds and say to their parents, “Today I’m going to teach them fractions,” they think that’s normal.
Children learn different skills at different times because they’re individuals and they’re interested in different things. If they’re keen on baking or making change or working in the wood shop or something like that they may be ready to learn about fractions otherwise they’re learning about it in abstraction. It’s not going to stick. It’s going to jiggle right out of their heads. They’re going to retain it for the test, regurgitate it, and forget it. That’s if they’re lucky.
If they’re unlucky they’re going to do some of these things: struggle with it terribly, turn something they didn’t know about into something they hate, do poorly on the test, feel bad about their inability to do the work, meet with the disappointment of their parents and teacher, get laughed at by their peers or siblings, and develop a full-on mistrust of their own capacities, a desire to run away from challenges, a hardened heart, and the desire to explore, learn, and investigate will be deviated into the desire to just get a good grade and be done.
You don’t want this. Wait. Wait until the child has a legitimate reason to learn a thing. It will stick. The learning will come along faster and it won’t foster in the child the desire to appear to know what he doesn’t know just to escape the horror of not learning it when everyone else did."
So I finally found a word that fits how I feel.
This is pretty much how I feel whenever I’m at college.
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